I thought I would take a moment and share some of my thoughts with you. This open format makes the contents available for others and follows my intention of openness, honesty, and grace. You see, I have some changes if my own to share with you that can benefit others as well.
I think my changes have been confusing for you. Over the last 10 years my philosophy of life and our place in it has grown. I have understood more about myself, where I’ve come from, where my interests lie. It’s ironic that I have actually been getting to know myself more and more. Not the self I had built to please others or construct an impenetrably successful life, but my REAL life.
The time I have taken has been well spent. Uncovering, healing, celebrating who I really am. Without the should’s, musts, or have-to’s. The best mental health is when the outside of a person matches the inside, and vice versa. Really.
I am not sure you knew I used to hate myself. I was petrified with self-hatred. Obviously, something was out of sync in my life.
I really like who I am. Really. Who I really am.
In some ways exposing myself to who you reflect back to me, as me, is too different and therefore replicates remnants of that place I used to be. I also do not think you are available for who I am. I have tried earlier-on.
I am a Highly Sensitive Person. I hear the messages and feel the covert-or, meta-messages. And, with my career I practice and hone these skills every day.
The thing is, I do not want to expose myself to who you think I am. That was for the first half of my time on the planet.
I need genuine interest, no judgement, compassion, and grace. That is all. Oh, one more thing, presence and attunement. (Thank you, Dr. Dan Siegel, Dr Alan Schore, and colleagues.